Must be Seasonal Affective Disorder

I am a little SAD today. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) perhaps!!! At 27, may be seasons begin having effect. Like summers feel irritating, monsoon increases baser instincts, autumn turns lil dry and winters make me want to fall in love again and again and again. So, needless to say what my mood is like right now.

Began the morning digging old stuffs. Started with old mails and chats of ex boyfriends and stopped there. I will mention a particular chat -- two-day chat with a boyfren I had in class six. No, the chat is not as old as that. We had, out of the blue, began talking to each other like after 10 years and were reliving and laughing at our silly dating days. what happened after that i dont want to reveal since it is someone else's secret but get the hint. Ok in another mail from another ex, i had suddenly become a teacher. No seriously. He had mailed me on Teachers' Day and expressed his gratitude for once helping him with his assignments. Bojho! (remember my latest fav expression).

Ok in another, a sweet ex of mine (at that time my present) used to write to me as a clandestine lover as if he was someone from my office. He would tell me how good i looked in the top i was wearing a particular day and how sweet my smile was an all that. Though I could not yet understand the purpose of the clandestine mails, i still pat myself for guessing it early who that clandestine lover was. But honestly, i had wished that time for a real one. Hmmmmmm....And now I realise how much i need one. WARING:But please remain clandestine.

Being single and "not-yet-ready to mingle", can be a difficult state sometimes. You suddenly find yourself being showered with all kind of proposals -- "you emotionally vulnerable??? come will nurse you" types, "let me take you out for a drink", "I am there na" types, "lets get married, i have loved you forever" and the latest for my age : My wife isnt home, lets talk. And, I am not exaggerating.

Like today a friend, a good friend, wanted to talk me out of my otherwise sleepy Sunday, invited me over for a drink, but I the I have already begun doubting his intentions. what if,? i dont, then??? all sorts of questions playing rugby in my mind. Rugby because I am running with the ball in hand towards the goal and the seven sisters inside me are pulling me back.

Now, had i thought better and clearer if it was winters and i so much want to fall in love again and again during that season? or monsoons, when my instincts get alive??? Blame it on the season..,,.,

I am going for a nap now. Royal Sunday nap.. Late evening will think of the drinks invitation.

Signing off
Rosemary